TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
