you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
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