U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
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