It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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