oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Why are your pants in the freezer?
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
