my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
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You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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