i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
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