if i can run in heels then i can drive
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Randomize