considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I FOUND THE LEGS
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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