We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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