so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
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