is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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