You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
