I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
