Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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