So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
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