she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
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