Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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