Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
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we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
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I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER