Say something about gay babies.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
23 Men Confess What Gifts Would Brighten Their Day
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
25 Of The Most Common Life Mistakes Young People Make
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.