I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
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Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
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I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?