Well apparently he's into motor boating.
i think my tv is drunk
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened