what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.