I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
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