At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
