i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
