i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Randomize
