Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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