the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Sorry about my life...
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
