Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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