I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
