he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
