yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
