maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
