I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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