At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
