Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
