What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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