If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
