I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
