Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
