I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Randomize
