Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
