Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
