why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Sext me about skeletons
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Randomize
