i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Randomize
