Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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