It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
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