no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
