i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Randomize
