She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
