My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
