Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
