she woke up with a sticky ear
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
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