This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
