what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
