so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
