Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
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I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
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I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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