He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
