Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
