Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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