I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Randomize
