I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
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