not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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